Wednesday, April 27, 2005


Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

I'm off to Auckland for the next three weeks, so it's gonna be a bit sparse around these parts. I'll be doing a lot of catching up with mates, eating a ton of fresh seafood,seeing my family and generally doing a shit load of fuck all. If I can be bothered to get even near a computer in the next three weeks, I'll do my best to fill ya'll in on my little trip to Aotearoa.

Have fun out there kids, cos I wiil be :)

Monday, April 25, 2005

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

Friday started with a quiet drink at the pub. Soon turned into a bit of a piss bonanza. Last thing I remember was swigging buckfast outside the pub at about 11. Woke up at midday with a pineapple and someone else's scarf in my bed. Must have looked a right mess walking home with a pineapple in tow. Hangover all day. Badly.

Went to meet a friend for a pint at mango landing at about 7.00pm ended up hanging out with her and went to the Dogstar to meet some of her friends. All was going well. Went up to the Telegraph in Brixton Hill for some party called Hectic. Was really hot and sweaty, and I was absolutely dripping in about 5 mins. Got really buckled and was having a bit of a hard time keeping cool. Not a good look at all.

Then went to some after party in Loughborough Junction. A couple of the people there seemed to be genuinely scared of me. This didn't help, me having a mock battle with a rubbish bin in their flat, and throwing warm beer cans at and into the fridge. Left at dawn and staggered back to this ladies place.

We cut through Brockwell park, and I was climbing over a really high railing, and tore the arse out of my pants, and was genuinely dangling from the seat of my troosers. Could have been really nasty but instead looked really mental. Couldn't get off for about 5 minutes. Got back to her place and then decided to go to the shop and get a bottle of buckie. Ended up going all the way to Stockwell, for a session with some close friends. Left there more worse for wear, took a wrong turn, and ended up getting lost and nearly ending up in Battersea.

We were sauntering along like a couple of jakeys. I was stopping at every single shop and getting a beer. It was that bad. Ended up in the Coach and Horses pub in Acre Lane, and sunk quite a few pints. I was feeling pretty sketchy by this point, had ended up having a rather terrible misunderstanding with the lady and ended up telling her exactly what I thought of her. It came out all garbled, and it got quite weird for a few minutes.

I was deflated a bit and things suddenly seemed really awkward. We then ran out of money, well to be exact, her money and then decided to go head home. She scurried off, and I decided to go drown my sorrows at the Whitehorse. I ended up dancing and prancing with the Dobber, and probably looking very, very camp. Scary.

Then we all piled back to Smackies place and got into the buckie yet again, and realised I've met my match in my new best mate, the Dobber. Had some unmentionable shameful acts of drunkenness, including too many rather compromising photos including yours truely sucking buckie out of Dobbers belly button. I even amaze myself with my own shamelessness. Passed out and woke up, not knowing where I was. Went home and had a shower, and then came to work.

Can't believe I'm still single.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Gimmie Danger

Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

"The only thing I thought might ever kill me off was clean living. I thought, How am I going to listen to that horrible noise I make without a gram of coke and a couple of double Jack Daniels?"

Iggy Pop

Happy Birthday James Jewel Osterberg. Thanks for being still alive, thanks for breaking the rules, and making some of the greatest music I've probably ever listened to.... ever. You broke the mold into a million pieces.

I'm a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm
I'm a runaway son of the nuclear a-bomb
I am a world's forgotten boy
The one who searches and destroys

Makes ya wanna go out and get drunk and fuck things up eh! Rock on Igg.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Blair witch.

Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

Sorry, I haven't posted in a wee bit. I got a lot on at the moment. Between a very mad weekend, crazy Basque terrorist girls, going away parties, birthday dinners, a small Scottish invasion to my house, slagging off the pope, one very mad dobber, about 40 pints, dodgy substances, losing my phone, my house keys, extreme highs, extreme lows, a pending trip home to NZ in a week for a holiday, I've been too busy to contemplate anything worthy to post.

(P.S. Found the keys, and phone)

Friday, April 15, 2005

A load of nonsense.

Two trailers kisses Dan, and Tokyo tickled umpteen progressive aardvarks, even though two bureaux fights umpteen schizophrenic dogs, and sheep drunkenly marries five almost angst-ridden dogs, yet two purple televisions abused the quixotic chrysanthemums, then umpteen botulisms grew up. Speedy elephants comfortably telephoned the cats. Five sheep untangles Jupiter, although Batman slightly cleverly bought one elephant. Two purple cats comfortably telephoned umpteen sheep. Two Jabberwockies gossips. One chrysanthemum fights five schizophrenic tickets, however umpteen elephants sacrificed two obese tickets.Umpteen sheep perused lampstands. The Klingons marries two almost speedy lampstands. One bureau kisses Dan. Five slightly bourgeois cats drunkenly tickled one putrid dog. Two bourgeois Jabberwockies perused five dogs. Umpteen quite progressive lampstands gossips lamely, although two wart hogs slightly easily tastes bourgeois chrysanthemums, however Jupiter quickly marries one progressive trailer, yet two quite purple Klingons kisses umpteen botulisms, but two cats abused the partly angst-ridden Jabberwockies, even though trailers sacrificed five bourgeois pawnbrokers, however one schizophrenic bureau kisses five poisons, even though one slightly angst-ridden orifice tastes two irascible poisons, then one bourgeois Macintosh ran away very noisily, yet five quixotic aardvarks quickly untangles Darin. Umpteen bourgeois botulisms auctioned off Quark, although the putrid bureau slightly easily kisses lampstands, and umpteen sheep perused tickets, yet umpteen wart hogs fights the almost schizophrenic bureaux, then mats gossips. One pawnbroker tastes progressive poisons. Five wart hogs ran away.

(Sorry, I'm bored and nonsense seems the best solution. )


Following on from a totally insane email conversation, I've decided to start a new religon. It's called Kebabalah.

Here's my doctrine so far.

The whole world is Kebabylon. The only place to find refuge, and worship is in the many Kebabalah temples, which as you know are everywhere.

It's an ancient sacrifical ritual dating back to when Noah gave thanks after the great flood by roasting a lamb. God smelled the roasting lamb and sent a dove as confimation.

Now days the sacrifical lamb is in the form of a glowing alter with a rotating "meat obelisk" in a central position. The dove has been replaced by a pigeon, which will take small offerings when you leave with your "Feast of Kebabylon"

To worship is simple. You go into the Kebabalah temples and greet the guardians of the alter. You can usually tell who these Kebabalists are, they guard the alter with long, sharp knives.

The Kebabalist will skillfully shave some of the symbolic lamb from the alter and place it in traditional unleavened bread. He will then offer you the results of this years harvests. Mainly lettuce, onions, tomatoes and cucumbers.Then he will consumate the offering with garlic and or chilli sauce.

At this point you will be asked for a donation for the upkeep of the temple.

Please give the Kebabalist approximately £2.70 and thank him.

All that is left now is to accept the symbolic offering and consume it with vigour, and fully accepting Kebabalah into your heart and soul.

Join Me!

Political Nightmare

Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

For some reason, all my thoughts of late have been of a political nature. I'm not quite sure why. I have been listening to a lot of talkback radio, and actually reading newspapers. Two things I hardly ever do. Most of the time I'm the proverbial ostrich with my head in the sand, when it comes to matters of politics and religon. The main reason, is I get really wound up, really quickly at the state of play in the world. I usually keep most of my political views to myself, but lately a little has been spilling out here.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Poison 101

I picked up a metro on the tube this morning, and on the front page was a mugshot of Kamel Bourgass, a supposed "Al-Qaeda" suspect. Very interesting article, namely about his attempt to make ricen and use it on the public in North London.

I had a look on the BBC news website and come up with this. Hmmm, it seems no ricen was actually discovered, just the ingredients. But the
Porton Down laboratory, which analysed the material and equipment seized from a flat in Wood Green where Bourgass was living, said that a residue of ricin had been found when it had not.

Mohamed Meguerba who was linked to Kamel Bourgass, supplied the information when under interrogation in Algeria, was adamant that two pots of ricin had been manufactured at the Wood Green premises.

I've no doubt, that
Bourgass was a threat, and it was soon proved by his actions in stabbing a policeman to death on his accidental capture, and probably given enough time, would have carried out the attacks. But being a sleeper for Al-Qaeda? I'm not too sure. Most of the information on Bourgass, came from Mohamed Meguerba, who it seems is not the most reliable source of infomation.

From where I'm sitting, it seems that the media and police are all too quick to assume that people involved in some form of terrorism, and are possibly asylum seekers, possibly Algerian and possibly Muslim have to be linked to
Al-Qaeda in some way. They seem to get the majority of information from other suspected Al-Qaeda terrorists that have already been caught. Don't you just love the media, and the government, and the pictures the like to paint.

Here the icing on the cake though, the BBC news site shows you pictures of what you need to make ricen. They black out the recipe of course, but it took me 30 seconds to find a recipe on the internet. (Funnily enough from an American website.) Then incredibly one quick link away, lists all the types of poisons and recipes.

Based on what I got off the net in a matter of seconds, and backed up by the helpful BBC I could go out right now and have a batch of ricen all ready to go in a few hours. You have to wonder how much a part the media in the western world, who is hell bent on exposing
Al-Qaeda terrorists, namely to fuel the fire against the muslim world, plays in planting the seeds for budding young terrorists, living in the west, who obviously want to destroy the west.

Funny old world eh?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Pot calling the kettle black.

Seems everytime I look at some news site on the web the whitehouse wankers keep on popping up all over the show. Heres a doozy by Donald "I'll kill you" Rumsfeld.

"Donald Rumsfeld, US defence secretary, has warned Iraq's new leaders against political purges or favouritism during his visit to Baghdad. He said that such behaviour could lead to charges of corruption and sap confidence in the yet-to-be formed government."

Ha! You have to be kidding me. If it's a US model that the new fledging democracy is based on, I can bet you horseshoes to hand grenades, that it will be corrupt and rotton to the core. I do think it's great that Iraq has a Kurdish leader, considering how badly the Kurdish were treated under the Sunni lead government. But you have to ask the question how did it get so out of hand in the first place.

Well... It was the 1980s. Saddam was America's puppet in Iraq fighting the Iranians who has just turned into an Islamic state after America's puppet - The Shah of Iran - died of cancer. Osama bin Laden was a buddy in Afghanistan and the Taliban was know as the MujaHadine Freedom Fighters. Reagan was trading arms for hostages to fund an illegal war against the Sandinista-controlled government of Nicaragua. And Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfield was making oil deal with Saddam Hussein. (see above)

They now accuse Saddam of gassing his own people and we want to put him on trial for it. And - if he did it - he deserves to die for it. But America gave Saddam the poison gas that he used to kill the Kurds - gas that he was supposed to use to kill Iranians.

Poison gas is illegal under International Law and America making it is illegal. But Americans are above the law - or specifically Republican presidents are above the law - and we make nerve gas and we gave it to Saddam to use to kill people in Iran - which Saddam also did.

So - you see - Republicans interpret the law differently than the rest of the world. It's OK to gas Iranians - but it's not OK to gas Kurds. If Saddam if found guilty then i- in my view - his partner Ronald Reagan is also guilty. Reagan gave Saddam poison gas to kill Iranians and Saddam did what Reagan wanted - but he just gassed some Kurds on the side.

Reality is different than American political fiction. Under International Law it's just as illegal to gas Iranians as it is to gas Kurds and the criminals include everyone who was involved which includes those who supplied Saddam with the gas with instructions to use it.

Reagan is dead now - and beyond the reach of the law. But Reagan was Saddam's partner in the gassing of the Kurds and a conviction of Saddam is also a conviction of Ronald Reagan - both of whom are criminals of war.

These kinds of acts only strengthed Saddam, until 1991 when oil hungry nations took notice as result of Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990. Saddam Hussein declared that the invasion was a response to overproduction of oil in Kuwait, which had cost Iraq an estimated $14 billion a year when oil prices fell. Hussein also accused Kuwait of illegally pumping oil from Iraq's Rumaila oil field.

The UN Security Council called for Iraq to withdraw and subsequently embargoed most trade with Iraq. In August troops moved into Saudi Arabia to protect Saudi oil fields.The United Nations set Jan. 15, 1991, as the deadline for a peaceful withdrawal of Iraqi troops from Kuwait. When Saddam Hussein refused to comply, Operation Desert Storm was launched on Jan. 18, 1991, under the leadership of U.S. Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf.

The U.S.-led coalition began a massive air war to destroy Iraq's forces and military and civil infrastructure. Iraq called for terrorist attacks against the coalition and launched Scud missiles at Israel (in an unsuccessful attempt to widen the war and break up the coalition) and at Saudi Arabia. The main coalition forces invaded Kuwait and S Iraq on Feb. 24 and, over the next four days, encircled and defeated the Iraqis and liberated Kuwait. When U.S. President George H. W. Bush declared a cease-fire on Feb. 28, most of the Iraqi forces in Kuwait had either surrendered or fled.

Although the war was a decisive military victory for the coalition, Kuwait and Iraq suffered enormous property damage, and Saddam Hussein was not removed from power. In fact, Hussein was free to turn his attention to suppressing internal Shiite and Kurd revolts, which the U.S.-led coalition did not support, in part because of concerns over the possible breakup of Iraq if the revolts were successful. Coalition peace terms were agreed to by Iraq, but every effort was made by the Iraqis to frustrate implementation of the terms, particularly UN weapons inspections.

So, as you can see the Yanks tooled up Saddam, give him enough slack, till he pisses off the flow of oil, then cut off the whole country and let them rot. Then he uses the same weapons, to wipe out the Kurds, and then good old USA steps in, under George W Bush to mop up after his old man, all on the pretense of looking for WMD. Which the USA supplied in the 80's. It's all a bit scary really, the planning that goes into arming a country, undermining that same country, then bombing that country back to the stone age, then overtly occupying that country and making it yet another puppet state for the USA. All for control of resourses and building contracts that goes straight back to the people that took it away in the first place. That's democracy for ya!

So when Donnie boy comes out with a quote like that, well it makes me want to puke bile.

Next stop Israel. Oh what a post that is gonna be, it's been festering for a while let me tell you!

P. S. I'm not trying to turn my lighthearted blog into a political soapbox, but I feel quite strongly about those c**ts over the water, and my anger is spilling out here. Rather here, than actually venting my rage on any yank I see, which would probably land me in jail.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

The weekend I wanted.

My weekend consisted of wanting. It was great. I slept when I wanted, read when I wanted, surfed when I wanted, watched tv when I wanted. Even took a nice stroll around Brockwell Park when I wanted. I downloaded what I wanted. I even ate when I wanted. It was all what ever I wanted. Waiting to be wanted was the obvious wants. Booze, drugs and no sleep. Which I didn't want. I thought, how long waiting for the wanting for which I was prepared to want. Seems waiting a whole weekend for the wanting passed by, and I'm not waiting anymore for the wanting. Don't think I wanted anyway, but I'm glad I realised I waited, to see if I wanted. I didn't. It was worth the wait.

Want to leave a comment? I'm waiting.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Engaging new freakish pastimes.

I found an interesting test. Courtesy of my mate Charlene Ramsey. It's a test that kind of susses out your personality. It's pretty spot on, if I do say myself. I turned out to be a ENFP, which I think is spookily accurate. Go on and have a go, then post your type in the comments box. Oh, and tell me if it's on the money..... or not.

This had me in stiches.

That's the last pun for the day, I promise.
Have a good weekend, and don't do anything I wouldn't.

Todays Terrorism Tip

Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

I read this article the other day. It blew me away (no pun intended) that journalists are the new crack commandos performing mock acts of terrorism, to expose how easy it would be to blow some place up. I'm wondering when will be the day where a terrorist goes undercover, joins a newspaper posing as a journalist and actually goes and blows something off the face of the earth. Hopefully the bloody newspaper building.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Six month review (Part 2)


Always something to do.

I've been here for six months now, and I still haven't done bugger all. There are so many things to do, if you were loaded (with cash). You could just go non-stop in this town for well, as long as you could handle it. There are so many restaurants, I'd love to try out, so many museums and galleries to go to, so many sights to check out, and so much stuff I'd love to buy. There is a ton off stuff out there, that'll I'll probably never see either, but I hope I'll get there one day.


For example I went to seetickets and flicked through A and B of upcoming gigs. AL GREEN, ALICE COOPER, ANTONY AND THE JOHNSONS, APARTMENT, ASIAN DUB FOUNDATION, ARTHUR BROWN, BECK, BABYSHAMBLES, BLACK EYED PEAS, BLOC PARTY, BRIAN WILSON, BUZZCOCKS all popped up. I must admit, some of this music isn't my bag at all, but you get the picture in the amount of live music goes on. And all this is just on one website. Imagine the other ticket sites out there? What about bands that don't even advertise. There could be some great unsigned band just bashing away in some pub somewhere in London tonight. I also have re-discovered all my old musical leanings, mainly because I’m not surrounded by house music, which is usually the case in Auckland. Infact I’m pretty much over house music. Should be interesting when I go home to NZ in three weeks and check out the current musical climate.


The sheer size of this city. It makes me laugh when people say they get bored. Get off the couch and go explore the city. Everyone moans about public transport, but in reality it's not that bad. Maybe I might groan about it in a few years, but at the moment, it's cool not to have to drive everywhere. I still get a buzz hopping on public transport knowing I'll probably never see any of these people again. It makes me want to be cheeky and a little eccentric just to guage peoples reactions.


I'd go insane without them. Thank god I've fallen in with a really good bunch of people. You know who you are. It's a god send to be able to have instant f(r)iends who all are as they say round my way, safe.


Can't beat it. Good little vege market, a pile of odd shops, good boozers, all my mates bar one live near me. And even he's moving closer, which is brilliant. A great cinema down the road. Brockwell Park is beautiful and I can't wait till the Lido Pool opens. My flat is brilliant, and I'm getting the feeling I want to stay there for a while. A mellow flatmate with good taste in music, food and wine, and a really nice modern pad. And 250 steps to my favourite pub. What more could I ask for? Maybe a nice girlfriend, but that's an entire post on it's own, and I'm not prepared to open that can of worms just yet...

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Fowl Play

Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

Trust me, you will never eat chicken again. This article is a little old, but reading it was well worth it. What's really sick is kids love these disguised pieces of mangled bits of well....... read on.

This is the bomb.

Missing that Kiwi summer? I know I am. Check this out.

P.S. Cheers for the link Smackie.
P.P.S I'm still struggling to find good things to say about London.
P.P.P.S I'll get there eventually. Posting the results, that is.

Friday, April 01, 2005

In God we trust?

Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

I've been very wary about commenting on the Terri Schiavo case. Mikey's post on the subject makes some good points. However I saw a news piece on her passing away the other night, and it pissed me off. It's the fact that Bush stuck his nose into Christian America yet again. His voters. The stupid people who's faith in God had basically set up the Jerk-off for another four years. There were images of people praying in groups and comments from religious nuts, (priests included) who are so blinded by faith that the statements to camera were just pathetic. Here's what I mean.

Father Frank Pavone

"This is not only a death, this is a killing," he said. "We grieve that our nation has allowed such an atrocity as this."

Hey father Frank. Shut the fuck up. Your nation is committing atrocities on a daily basis, can't you see that? Surely you can? The whole of Christian America has been brainwashed into accepting that their leader is doing God's work and saving Americans from evil Muslims or anyone infact that upsets the status quo, or more likely the flow of money and oil. It makes my blood boil that half a fucking country is asleep, and voted for that animal.

Even the Vatican has jumped on the bandwagon.

Cardinal Jose Saraiva Martins.

"An attack against life is an attack against God, who is the author of life"

The Vatican... What a crock of shit. A very rich nation, yes a nation, with a lot of wealth, property and dripping with gold and relics. The same Vatican who is against birth control. Like we need more people on this planet? The same Vatican who covers up the fact that a lot of it's priests like to fuck kids? The same Vatican who has committed many atrocities in history. One that come's to mind is Pope Pius XII who sat on the fence throughout the Holocaust, and offered no help while Hitler was trying to wipe out the Jews.

It seems really ironic, now that the current Pope is on his death-bed, that they are now sticking feeding tubes into him, trying to keep the poor bastard alive. Let him die. I'm sure George Bush will stick his oar in, and nominate Father Frank Pavone to fill the spot, and cover all the bases. God knows he's nearly there with Wolfowitz being appointed head of the the world bank.

God, if you do exist, can you please send one of your "acts" and just erase that motherfucker Bush off the face of this planet. Please?

P.S. Terri Schiavo, I hope you are in a better place now, and not trapped in a dead body anymore.

P.P.S. Still working on the good half of the six month review.