Looking for love in all the wrong places.

Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

Friday started with a quiet drink at the pub. Soon turned into a bit of a piss bonanza. Last thing I remember was swigging buckfast outside the pub at about 11. Woke up at midday with a pineapple and someone else's scarf in my bed. Must have looked a right mess walking home with a pineapple in tow. Hangover all day. Badly.

Went to meet a friend for a pint at mango landing at about 7.00pm ended up hanging out with her and went to the Dogstar to meet some of her friends. All was going well. Went up to the Telegraph in Brixton Hill for some party called Hectic. Was really hot and sweaty, and I was absolutely dripping in about 5 mins. Got really buckled and was having a bit of a hard time keeping cool. Not a good look at all.

Then went to some after party in Loughborough Junction. A couple of the people there seemed to be genuinely scared of me. This didn't help, me having a mock battle with a rubbish bin in their flat, and throwing warm beer cans at and into the fridge. Left at dawn and staggered back to this ladies place.

We cut through Brockwell park, and I was climbing over a really high railing, and tore the arse out of my pants, and was genuinely dangling from the seat of my troosers. Could have been really nasty but instead looked really mental. Couldn't get off for about 5 minutes. Got back to her place and then decided to go to the shop and get a bottle of buckie. Ended up going all the way to Stockwell, for a session with some close friends. Left there more worse for wear, took a wrong turn, and ended up getting lost and nearly ending up in Battersea.

We were sauntering along like a couple of jakeys. I was stopping at every single shop and getting a beer. It was that bad. Ended up in the Coach and Horses pub in Acre Lane, and sunk quite a few pints. I was feeling pretty sketchy by this point, had ended up having a rather terrible misunderstanding with the lady and ended up telling her exactly what I thought of her. It came out all garbled, and it got quite weird for a few minutes.

I was deflated a bit and things suddenly seemed really awkward. We then ran out of money, well to be exact, her money and then decided to go head home. She scurried off, and I decided to go drown my sorrows at the Whitehorse. I ended up dancing and prancing with the Dobber, and probably looking very, very camp. Scary.

Then we all piled back to Smackies place and got into the buckie yet again, and realised I've met my match in my new best mate, the Dobber. Had some unmentionable shameful acts of drunkenness, including too many rather compromising photos including yours truely sucking buckie out of Dobbers belly button. I even amaze myself with my own shamelessness. Passed out and woke up, not knowing where I was. Went home and had a shower, and then came to work.

Can't believe I'm still single.