Friday, November 04, 2005

365 days of verbal diarrhea

Well, it's been a just over a year since I started this blog. I've had 6727 people visit it as well. It amazes me that ANYONE EVEN bothers. I looked at my stats at the search terms that actually brought people here.

"traditional polish smalec picture"
Why anyone apart from myself wants to see a picture of polish double fried pig fat, is beyond me, but hey I'm glad I'm not alone on this one.

"tumors in fried chicken"
Maybe someone out there is trying to scare themselves into not eating fried chicken. Like I tried, miserably. Bird flu? Bring on the chicken, I don't give a flying fuck.

"pigeon poison recipe"
I have no idea what the hell this is about. But I have a sneaky feeling that they are talking about what goes into kebabs.

"penny wood methamphetamine"
This is the lady who looks like an Orc from Lord of the Rings. Oh, shes a meth freak too. I wonder if many people going to New Zealand spot Orcs these days. I'm sure they don't have to look too far.

"satanic scotland"
Ahhh, St Nick Cave. The patron saint of satanic scotland, where it gets dark at 3.00pm and there are crows that steal babies from prams, and everyone drinks far to much, and food ain't food till it's fried.

"tennents lager"
The super strong stuff. I haven't had the balls to try it yet, and looking at the people that do drink it, I'm in no big hurry either.

"British sheep puppet"
My mind is racing with this one.

"Cocaine in coconuts"
I'll take a bunch thanks!

"frey bentos pies"
I'm not the only one who has a fascination with meat in tins. But jeez, pastry as well. Find me Frey Bento's daughter, I'm on one knee.

"nightmare hsbc"
We all know how much banks suck. But these bastards take the cake. High Street Banking C**ts

"can i take lemsip with sudafed 12 hour"
Like I can offer profession medical advice? I'm sure I've had a heart attack, stroke, and a few seizures, and that's most weekends.

"The KLF + fish"
Great band, great umm, er fish?

"george the fourth brixton"
Anyone want to accidently lose control of an 18 wheeler on Brixton hill on a Sunday morning? I'll buy the gas.

"Looking for love in all the wrong places"
Anyone know the right places? Email me please.

"give us an article on child traffiking"
Like I'd know anything about that, but I hear you can fit 15 to a tea chest if you pack em properly. (I'm going to hell for that one)

"how people end up on the streets"
Spend 6 months with me, and we'll see how we go!

"Is my Life a mistake as I can't find a Job"
You poor sod. Try child traffiking, I hear the money's fabulous.

"skunk brixton 2005"
Surely Lambeth council's new community slogan?

"spiders on drugs"
Thank god it's spiders and not pidgeons on crack. All of our eyes would have been well pecked out by now.

"George Bush"
Now, even saying these two words together, make me feel like I've eaten a shit sandwich.

"Living the life of Reilly"
We'll since this actually is my last name, and I'm alive, and judging by the puerile trash I've written over the last 12 months I am indeed "Living the Life of Reilly". Well kind of...

A big squishy kiss on the lips goes to Smacked Face, whom this whole blog wouldn't have even been born, Mikey Ray for being terrible at spelling, James for being James, Babs for making me laugh, Ms G, Finn, Peter, Simon and anyone else who has graced my comments box. I've probably missed a few out, but hey, tough shit, as far as I'm concerned you ain't even alive till you're in my address book.

Have a good one.