Thursday, March 17, 2005

Wankered on a Wednesday.

Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

A sure fire way to kerb yourself on St. Patrick's Day is to get hammered the night before. That's what I did. Unintentionally of course. Can there ever be a quick jar? I'm highly doubting it.

Anyway a couple of interesting things happened while playing silly buggers at the pub. The first was a random stranger coming up to my friend and asking if we were both Kiwis. We were impressed. The amount of times I get mistaken for an Aussie is prolific. I'm so sick of it, the stupid Aussie jokes people make, after telling them I'm not from Aussie. (It confuses people even more when I say I'm actually Scottish.) Only to get the reply "Well it's all the same down there, Isn't it?" Yeah right. Like Scots, and the English are all the same. Next time it happens I might bite someone's face.

Back to the story in hand. We asked this guy how he knew. He'd been listening to us, and had noticed we say "Eh" a lot. I'd never noticed this, and you know what, he was right. Eh. Us Kiwis say "Eh" all the time. Eh. Well I know I do. Eh.

Then he told us that he had just seen Whale Rider. I must recommend this film to everyone. It nearly had me crying. And that's saying a lot. It's one of the best depictions of the East Coast of the North Island that I have ever seen. Go and see it.

The other interesting thing that happened, is one of the most pathetic scams that I have ever heard. My mate and I fell for it. Hook, line and sinker. We were leaving the pub last night and this lady came out after us. She then proceeded to tell us that she needed some spare change for the bus. Same old story. But then she told us she needed to go to the hospital because she has just miscarried in the toilet in the whitehorse. We were speechless. Literally. I emptied my pockets, so did my mate. She then walked off. We were both gobsmacked. It started to sink in. We both started to think that we might have been scammed.

For a kick off, what the hell was she doing boozing and smoking in a pub, pregnant. Then going to the toilet and having a fucking miscarriage. Then going back to your drink like nothing has happened. It's so wrong on so many levels. This scam ranks No.1 in my books. It's probably the most saddest thing I've heard coming out a womans mouth. Where is her head at? What kind of women even says that kind of shit? The depths people will go to to scrounge a few coins. On the other hand, I hope she wasn't telling the truth. Gross.

Moving right along. Also discovered these last night. Yum. What a taste sensation. Smooth and fruity and knocks you for six, considering the size of them.

Woke up this morning and realised it's St. Patrick's Day. The day everyone seems to think that they are Irish. Of course it's just an excuse to get plastered. I don't really get into the whole thing. I mean it's to celebrate St. Patrick getting rid of all the snakes in Ireland. Isn't it? When did it get highjacked and turn into yobs swilling Guiness and wearing stupid hats. I reckon they should canonise Shane McGowan and turn the whole affair into St. McGowan day. He's clearly the right man for the job, and a fine representation of what March the 17th has turned into.