Fishy business

Originally uploaded by LIFE OF REILLY.

Now I like fishing. Any type of fishing. But since I've been here, I think my fishing missions will be few and far between. This is why. A: I live in central London B: The Thames looks toxic. (And if i did catch anything in the Thames, I don't think I'd tuck into hypodermics, shopping trundlers and old boots). C: I didn't bring any fishing gear from New Zealand. D: Nobody I know over here has a boat. E: I don't have any fishing buddies (yet). These 5 points pretty much puts fishing way out of reach. That combined with constant pining after a good piece of fresh fish. I saw fillet of shark on a menu the other day. Please.... Shark where I come from is what dodgy fish and chip shops advertise as Terahki (dunno the english name for this wonderful fish ). And as for fish in the supermarket, I'd do the salmon, it looks ok. The red snapper looks a week old and is very undersized and the haddock looks like a running shoe odour-eater. Bleeergh. Even the tuna is rank. I haven't found and decent green lipped mussels (yum) but I hear you can get them, but alas it seems a well guarded secret among my Kiwi mates. Prawns are ok, but they seem to fully over cook them. And lobster is only for very special times where I want to impress a chick. Anyway I'm starting to drool here. (Note to self: Don't write about food before lunch). Back to fishing. I'd like to see full centrefolds in fishing magazines. Like Playboy, but except, sparking full size snapper. Not that kind of snapper. The fishy kind. Oh dear. I mean the kind that live in the ocean. I can see it all over England. Anglers rushing down to the newsagents, and sneakily buying their usual monthly fish magazine and then in the privacy of their own homes, flicking to the middle and opening Ms. July. A saucy looking bass. I can hear it now "Ohhh look at the gills on that baby." It would keep the hankering for a fish at bay. No more holding hands out and telling exaggerated fishing stories in the pub. Just pull out a well thumbed copy of "Fish Only" and show all your mates. They will love it. Imagine fish shops with the centrefolds pinups on the wall. "Ms. November is looking good. George, she's a good looking Halibut. Ill take two." It would rock. Next stop: Hard core prawn movies.

NB: However I've recently found an excellent Tapas restaurant called Meson Los Barilles (55/63 Goswell Road London EC1). Which has excellent fish, and I'm on my way to becoming fat as a house if I don't curb my visits soon.