Ban me from Amsterdam for life.

This is a quick synopis of my first time in the Dam.

Picked up at 4.30am / drive to Luton / Guiness / Bacon Sandwich / Plane / beer / beer / beer / beer at airport / coffeeshop / hit by a big green freight train / dazed for a few hours trying to get a grip / wandered around for a bit / powder / talked shit in bars / attempted to play pool / coffeeshop / powder / talked shit in bars / got hit on by middle aged women? / got invited to eat steak tartar with a middle aged gaggle of women? (bizarre but true) / went to hotel room with the lads / pills / powder / red light district / attempting to deal with my catholic schoolboy morals / coffeeshop / dragged into strip shows / felt like a dumb stupid male / coffeeshop / back to hotel / smashfest / back to town / beer / beer / beer / beer / pills / powder / made the fatal mistake of telling the boys that i'd never really been with one of "those ladys" before / get pushed behind a curtain / felt very strange / started laughing at the situation and spacing out and generally freaking out the poor lady behind the curtain / kept the pants on / asked if she wanted some powder / got booted out / beer / got shit from the boys / got lost for an hour / was found again / beer / coffeeshop / back to hotel / mushrooms (bad idea at 5am) / sketching out / everything went VERY pear shaped / contemplated (if this was actually possible at this stage of the game) will they let us on the plane / went to the airport / got lost / got found / beer / searched / got on the plane / zoned out / landed / beer / bacon sandwich / beer / beer / beer / beer / missed train / got another one / crawled home / hid.